Self-Coach Sunday 8: Raise Your Standard

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The flip side of boundaries is standards – the conduct you hold yourself to. It doesn’t make much sense for you to have a boundary that people can’t make derogatory remarks about you if you do this to others. By extending your boundaries, you’ll be raising your standards. They go hand in hand.

You can choose your standards. For example: “I always tell the truth.” “I never raise my voice.” “I always show up on time.” “I don’t give advice unless asked.” Choose the standards you are ready for, not the ones you think you “should” have. Make a list of people you admire. Write down their top qualities, and think about the standards of behavior they hold themselves to. Now write down the standards you’d like to adopt for yourself.

It may take a few times of seeing you show up early before people realize you are now punctual, but they will start taking you more seriously immediately.

If you are interested in coaching or have questions, please feel free to contact me.

Tasty Tuesday: Dandelion and Burdock tea

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Springtime is the season for detoxifying the body. This recipe to follow is based on a traditional English tea.  The original version was fermented, but this version uses carbonation. Make a batch and keep it in your refrigerator for a cool glass of refreshing and detoxifying spring tea.

 

 

Self-Coach Sunday 7: Don’t Be a Duck

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This tip will do wonders for building your self-confidence. The trick is to step over nothing. Get in the habit of addressing everything that bothers you on the spot or as soon as is possible and appropriate afterward. It seems easier to let those little negative comments and subtle digs roll off like water off a duck’s back. So many of us erroneously assume that it’s better to let the little stuff go by and save our breath for the big ones. The problem is all those little comments add up and can undermine your self-esteem. Don’t ignore the little stuff. The time to inform is right away: “do you realize that you left the dirty dishes on the table?” Give up being the saint and start letting people know what bugs you. Don’t tolerate unpleasant behavior from others. If your colleague makes a negative remark, instead of letting it slide by, simply inform: “do you realize that comment hurt me?” or “ouch, that hurts!” or “that remark was inappropriate”. It doesn’t take much to put an end to these destructive comments, whether they come from friends, family, colleagues or strangers. Use the 4-step communication model (inform, request, insist, leave) and keep your tone of voice neutral. You will soon find that people won’t be making these sorts of comments about you. You will keep your relationships clean and your confidence will go up.

If you are interested in coaching or have questions, please feel free to contact me.

Tasty Tuesday: Spring Dandelion Greens

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Dandelion Greens

Dandelion greens are cooked with chopped onion, minced garlic, chile pepper, then topped with grated Parmesan cheese.

 Ingredients:

• 1 pound dandelion greens
• 1/2 cup chopped onion
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 whole small dried hot chile pepper, seeds removed, crushed 
• 1/4 cup cooking oil
• salt and pepper
• Parmesan cheese

Preparation:

 Discard dandelion green roots; wash greens well in salted water. Cut leaves into 2-inch pieces. Cook greens uncovered in small amount of salted water until tender, about 10 minutes. Sauté onion, garlic, and chile pepper in oil. Drain greens; add to onion garlic mixture. Taste dandelion greens and season with salt and pepper. Serve dandelion greens with grated Parmesan cheese.

Recipe for dandelion greens serves 4.

Self-Coach Sunday 6: Establish Boundaries

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Establishing big strong boundaries protects you from the unpleasant situations and people in life.  This is your force-field that only you can turn on and off. This force-field is designed to keep intruders away so that you can feel at ease. It allows you to be your best.

Example: people can’t yell at me. You can expand this to: people can’t give unsolicited criticism, derogatory remarks, or put-down jokes around me. This will help protect you and get your personal needs met.

What are your top needs? Make a list of 5 and set these as your boundaries.

If anyone oversteps these boundaries, use this four-step boundary plan:

1. Inform – (say in a soft voice) “do you realize you (yelled) at me?”
2. Request – ask them to kindly stop
3. Insist – insist that they stop
4. Leave – “I can’t continue if you (yell)”

If you are interested in coaching or have questions, please feel free to contact me.